So today was a pretty good day. I woke up at about 12:00 (woohoo spring break!) and then played on my computer for the next two hours. after which I got up, took a shower, and then went to Starbucks for some quality time with Jake (check out his blog at jakehughes.com) after he and I talked for about an hour and a half we decided to go back to my house for awhile. We got here and decided to make some videos (ahh bohemian rhapsody) and then took my brother to boy scouts. on the way there we made a video regarding our drive. It probably wouldn't be humorous to anybody but us. It mostly pertained to our odd fixation upon getting a wifi network to connect to my laptop whilst driving haha. After dropping off my brother we decided to attempt to get my iPhone to be a wireless router for my computer. (it worked woohoo!) and then i bid Jake adieu. All in all it was a funtastic time! It was nice to see Jake again. I hadn't seen him in a a good while.
Then after I had been home for a little while I decided to call Rachel. This was a very interesting conversation. We talked about influence of friends an closeness in relationships. The first thing we spoke of was the purpose of friends outside of your relationship. Friends are a key factor and can also be a downfall. If you have very supportive friends to talk to about your relationship they can make you feel very happy and make your relationship feel even better. (even sometimes when things aren't going so hot). But I (from personal experience) have found that friends can also be a downright terrible thing for a relationship. When Rachel and I first dating she had this friend (who shall remain unnamed even though some of you know this story) and she was kind of close to Rachel but they didn't do things very often. They texted a good bit but didn't get to see each other very often in person. Well while this friend was perfectly fine with me and Rachel dating at first she then became very jealous of the time I spent with Rachel and started attempting to undermine the relationship at every turn. Saying i was jealous when I wasn't, saying that I was pushing Rachel too fast, etc. Thankfully Rachel was able to see through this friends front and realized what the underlying problem was. But imagine if she had been like a sister to her, would she have been so quick to see through it? That is a definite example of how a friend could be a bad influence. Also friends could, just by talking to them, make you doubt the point at which you are in your relationship (this one I do not have personal experience on so my thoughts are hypothetical). Say you've been dating for a couple of months and neither of you are very experienced dating and you haven't worked your way up to kissing yet. Your girlfriend’s friends (awkward phraseology i know) could be pressing her wondering why you haven't made your move yet and saying that your not at the same level of commitment that she is. The roles could be reversed as well. guys could get peer pressured by other guys hearing the same thing. Other times in that situation friends could say something about that and not even realize that they are making you second guess things. simple statements such as “really?” or “thats strange” when used in the wrong places can make you feel unhappy with where you are in your relationship even when you aren't. wow that was a real big mouthful there… but anyways hope somebody can glean something from this!
So the next thing we talked about was openness within a relationship. Hopefully this paragraph wont be as long haha. Anyways… We talked about how when two people are dating that while not everything at once, both people need to let their guard down and feel a little uncomfortable at times and reveal things about themselves that aren't necessarily the best side of them. I'm not talking necessarily something like “oh i slept with my last boyfriend/girlfriend” or “I was abused when i was a child” but just simple things like talk about what you like to do that may not be the coolest thing ever. Like I am a complete nerd and Rachel is a vocal performance major… Do you think I felt completely comfortable at first talking about nerdy computer stuff or getting excited about a video game with her? Nope, but after a while I started to open myself up little by little and started talking about stuff like that. She did the same with music stuff. Its just something that if you really cherish the relationship and hope that its going to go somewhere that you have to do. Otherwise when you think your getting to know someone you really aren't getting to know them. It probably could almost feel like you had been lied to if you thought you had known your boyfriend/girlfriend because you had been dating for 6 months only to find out that they hadn't been themselves, only what they wanted you to see. Plus if you act that way around somebody they may like the facade that you decide to put up and not the real you when you decide to show it to them. Thats just what I have seen in friends relationships and whatnot. Well anyways thats all I can think of about that. (haha Forrest Gump)
Anyways I don't want you guys to think I am trying to give out advice about what you should do in your relationship. Its different for everyone. All I’m putting up here is my thoughts and things that spark my interest. If one of you guys decides to use it for yourselves then feel free! Hope it works as well for you as it does for me. Above all remember that God needs to come first. If that doesnt happen first you wont be happy in the long run. Remember Jeremiah 29:11 always.
“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
0 comments:
Post a Comment